I remember a passage from a book I read a while ago called the Thirteen
Circles (www.the13circles.com).
One of the characters, Lemora, goes out into the early morning to sense the
Oneness, to hail it, to be a part of it. But what does this mean? How does one
begin to attenuate the Oneness?
I feel it now. I envision her going out into the morning knowing that
she consciously enters into the fabric from which all is made and knowing
herself to be a part of that fabric. There is no real need to go in and out,
every moment, every breath, every particle is part of the same stuff.
I have been reading a book on Ancient Egypt (‘Imagining The World Into
Existence’ by Normandi Ellis) and it recaps some of the creation myths. Atum
resided in the Nun the darkness, the emptiness. Until Atum created Re, the
light, he did not consciously recognise that he was God. It was the light of Re
that allowed him to see who he was. Once he saw that, he began to explore
himself.
Many of us are as Atum was within the Nun. We have not experienced the
light to view our own true natures. Yet when we do we begin to seek that
reconnection, we begin to sense that we are both a part of and are of the
divine.
We can explore this in a myriad of ways. I find the more I follow one
seemingly unique strand of thought or experience, it eventually leads me back
to intertwine with all the others. It is like a DNA double helix, with multiple
strands that twist and spiral upwards until all threads join.
The more I sense this, the more I am able to live it. I am coming to
realise that much of my feeling of separateness was of my own making. I would
sit with people and be convinced that they did not think like me and so I was
different, I thus stood apart. This gave birth to a distance that all parties
then lived.
Recently I am not focusing on the distance. I can be myself without it
hinging upon the expectation of another’s response. Anyone can teach.
By doing this I am amazed at the response of many random people. Those
whom I would have previously written off as different leave me in wonder at the
things that they share which I can relate to. Instead of putting up a wall, I
have begun to open up a space and people are walking in.
Recently I was told that my seeking to connect shines through. I had
never really thought of it as seeking to connect, especially to people.
Although I have always been seeking more of what I instinctively felt to make
up our world.
But in retrospect it is true that I have been seeking socially too. I
never wanted to be trapped within a particular social grouping, to be caught
within one specific model. I needed to explore. I wanted to access and relate
to people from all ages, cultures and backgrounds. Yet throughout all my life I
believed myself to be a loner.
Someone recently told me that people see our gifts before we are aware
of them. That seems to be true.
People reacted to the peace they said I generated whilst the last thing
on earth I felt I possessed was peace. Talents that I never thought I possessed
and would have denied as part of my makeup suddenly became natural. It is as
though who we are exists in a huge cloud around us and all we have to do is
step into it. But first we have either to recognise its possibility or at least
not shut the door on it.
For everything that exists and has ever existed resides alive within the
fabric of the Oneness. I had a vision when I was a teenager that stayed with me
always. I was in a very black time of my life. I did not know how to live and
whether I even could manage to continue living any more.
Just as I had seen people as separate, I saw God as separate and felt
abandoned by something that would not answer to my suffering.
I went into the hills in Provence and sitting there, looking out, I
imagined that fine spider webs of light connected each point I saw to each
other. Every leaf of every bush, of every tree, every blade of grass, every
stone, every twig, everything was touched and interlinked by these fine threads
of light.
It was only recently that I began to understand the power of this
vision. It left me with a feeling that had buoyed me for many years. I got to
see now that when I had thought I was most abandoned in silence, I was always
being spoken to. I was given little moments to keep me going which would later
inform greater understandings.
Now I can sense the energetic network that enrobes, embodies and is
generated by us all. It comes to mind easily. I can connect to it. Now I see
that I did not perceive a picture apart from myself, I was an integral part of
it too. It was this felt but below conscious understanding that had really
buoyed me.
I do not need to seek the divine apart from others, or apart from
myself. It is in us all and around us all.
We are an ever-expanding conscious universe within the consciousness of the Divine.
